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LeatherGoddessesOfPhobos.doc1
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LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS
Typed in by ???. Edited by PARASITE.
1 Starting, Modes, Matrix
2 Flytrap, Salesman, Machine
3 Gorilla, King Mitre
4 Cleveland, Headlight
5 Barge, Message, Riddle, Catacombs, Frog
6 Barge, Mouse, Icy Dock, Penguins, Baby, Cottonballs
7 Raft, Spaceship, Exit, Endgame
LEATHER GODDESS OF PHOBOS - Part 1
Hey! Them fellers at Infocom ain't dummies, ya know. No, siree, Bob! They
were right up there at the head of the line when the "smahts" got doled out.
(That,I'm told, is how it's properly pronounced in New England where, for
totally obscure reasons, Infocom fellers are said to live.) Heck, they know
all sorts ofimportant stuff, like, well, girls use the ladies' loo and boys
use the gents'.They also know that both boys and girls play their games, and
in this one (hereafter to be referred to as LGOP) it's important to get the
sexes straightened out right quick. That's because LGOP is a sci-fi sex
comedy adventure. This means there's a fair amount of ravishing going on, at
least there is if you play it in either the"Lewd" or the "Suggestive" mode.
(Not sure about "Tame" mode; never tried it.) Anyway, if you want the full
impact as you play, it's important to determine which you are: ravisher or
ravishee. ('Course, if you're kinky, you can be both.But you'll have to play
the game twice, once as a man, once as a woman, to do that.) All of which
gets us to the start of the game. You find yourself in Upper Sandusky, Ohio,
in Joe's Bar, to be precise. You've quaffed a fair amount of no-name beer (at
five cents a glass, who cares about names?), and you feel an urge. You trace
the urge to the region of your bladder. You are told that the ladies'
facility is northeast and the gents' is northwest. Okay, go in the direction
of whichever one you normally use. Yes, I said NORMALLY! Clever, huh? This is
how those subtle smahties at Infocom get you to determinewhat sex you will be
in LGOP. In any case, you will find either bathroom to be filthy and
fly-specked. Moreover, each contains a stool. Get the stool if you think it
will come in handy (and no cracks about which stool, either! It's the
three-legged one). Under certain circumstances, the stool may prove useful,
but it isn't vital. Also, while you're in there, you might want to follow
instructions and use the Scratch 'n' Sniff card which comes with the game.
(Honest, the scents on the card really do smell pretty close to what they're
supposed to. Well, some ofthem do, anyway.) On the other hand, if
card-sniffing isn't your bag, simply type, "Smell the odor," hit RETURN and
each time you'll be told what you're supposed to be smelling. In the case of
the bathroom, it's an old pizza slice,dubiously discarded in the corner.
Finally, before leaving the bathroom, use it. I mean the bathroom, silly, not
the pizza slice! And no prurient entries, please. Just type, "Use the
bathroom." After you have done so, exit back into the bar and order a drink.
Usually, the bartender will tell you you've had enough. If he does, try
ordering again. You won't get another one, of course, but Infocom has to have
a little delay in the game before you get zapped by tentacled aliens (?) from
your cozybar into a cell. That's right, a cell. You are suddenly, and with no
logic whatsoever, a prisoner of the dreaded LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS,
whose dastardly plan it is to invade and take over Earth for their own
sinister purposes. This bodes ill, I fear for God, country, the old ball
game, mom's apple pie, and all those other values we hold so dear. Oh, at
this point I should interject that you start LGOP in what is called
"Suggestive Mode." In movie lingo, this roughly corresponds to "PG." At
any point in the game, including the beginning, you can change modes by
typing in either "Tame" (ho hum), which gets a "G," or "Lewd," which is "R."
This, of course, permits you to play the game all the way through in any of
three modes, not to mention as a male and/or a female. If this is confusing,
well, don't fret on it. One other thing, you have to be eighteen or over to
play in "Lewd" mode. No cheating! (Remember those tentacled aliens?) Okay,
you're in your cell and you find some things to take: a flashlight, a
painting of a pussy cat and a blanket. Take all. Also, someone thrusts a
tray containing a hunk of brown food into your cell. Get the food (it's
chocolate candy) but forget the tray. Evidently, one of those aliens was
asleep at the tentacle because he/she/itforgot to lock your cell door. Open
the door and go south. Across the hallway, you find another cell door. You
also see a sign at the head of some stairs which go up and down. The sign
says, "Observation Room." Don't go up yet. Instead, open the other cell door.
(Some jail!) Inside the other cell you find (a) a man named Trent, if you're
playing the game as a male; (b) a girl named Tiffany, if you're playing as a
female. Trent or Tiffany will be your faithful, albeit not too bright,
companion from now on. On the floor of this cell you spy a crumpled piece of
paper. Get it and read it. It turns out there's a seemingly meaningless
matrix of letters on the paper. The operative word here, folks, is MATRIX. If
you scan the letters very carefully you will make out words, for the matrix
is one of those "scramble-grams." Some of the words run backward from
left-to-right, others are forward, right-to-left. Some run vertically, others
diagonally and several intersect. In any case, encircle the words as you find
them. You should wind up with eight circled items: blender, rubber hose,
phonebook, angle, cotton balls, photo, mouse and headlight. For the present,
you are not told the significance of these objects. Eventually (rather soon,
as a matter of fact), you will learn what they're for. However, as with many
Infocom puzzles, all is not as obvious as it seems with this matrix. If you
are paying very, very close attention, you will discover that its real
significance is with the letters you DON'T circle. If you put these together,
you will read the phrase, "Hissing frightens flytraps." You are encouraged to
stash this information in your memory banks. It comes in handy later on. Okay,
leave the cell and go upstairs to the Observatory Room. (Note: there's a
basement downstairs, and one flight up from the Observatory is the Roof of
the Observatory. The basement isn't important; the roof is.) Once you're
upstairs,go north into the tiny closet where it's too dark to see anything.
Turn on your flashlight. Now you can see, and you notice a black circle on
the floor and a wicker basket up on a shelf; but the basket is too high to
reach. Here, you can either drop your stool (if you took it) and stand on it,
or you can stand on the shoulders of your newly acquired companion. Either
way, take the basket. It's a good idea to put your possessions into the
basket, too, since this will permit you to carry more stuff, at least until
you find a roomier receptacle. No? You don't want to do that? Well, at least
put the blanket in the basket. You'll be sorry if you don't put your other
stuff in, too. When you get the dropsies, don't come crawling to me for
sympathy. Finally, stand on the circle.
LEATHER GODDESS OF PHOBOS - Part 2
Whoosh! You're zapped away to the Jungle. Slithering up to you through the
excessive heat and humidity is a gigantic Venus Flytrap. It looks (and is)
hungry! I've got some explaining to do so I'll pause here. First, I should
tell you that the sequence of events in LGOP does not necessarily have to
follow my walkthru scenario. For instance, if you had gone upstairs one more
flight to the Roof of the Observatory, you would have seen another black
circle. If you had stood on this one instead of the circle in the closet, you
would have been teleported to the Martian Desert instead of the Jungle. The
sequence isn't especially important. What matters is that there are black
circles (teleporters) located at key locations throughout the game. You
should make a note of where each circle is situated and where each one takes
you. Otherwise, you will quickly get lost and doubtless die and be forgotten,
never to taste mom's apple pie again. One other thing: whenever you stand on
a blackcircle, your faithful companion will emerge right behind you when you
reach your destination. Well, most of the time he/she will. Back to the
action. There's this flytrap, see? Well, we know what to do, don'twe? Hiss at
the flytrap. (Oh, and it might be a good idea to turn off your flashlight,
too!) Your hissing promptly causes the flytrap to cooperatively expire. (He
mistakesthe hiss for a spray can of weed killer.) With the flytrap out of the
way, you can now proceed west to the Spawning Ground for Venusian slime
beasts. Only one spot is free of slime and it contains a black circle. Next
to the circle is a jar of ointment. Get the jar, but do not stand on the
circle. Examine the jar. It turns out to contain untangling cream, whatever
that is. At this point, Trent/Tiffany will toss you a matchbook. You notice
it is empty,but there are notations scrawled all over the cover. Your
companion tells you this is a list of things he needs to whip up a
Super-Duper Anti-LEATHERGODDESSES OF PHOBOS Attack Machine! As it turns out,
the list is a duplication of the objects you so laboriously decoded from that
meaningless matrix you found back in your cell. Anyway, now you know what you
must obtain in order to win the game. You also note that, so far, you're
batting zero. On with the quest! Having read the matchbook cover, go east
from the Spawning Ground back into the Jungle. Go east again. At this point,
a mighty tree rises before you! Suddenly,the tree dies and is consumed by
Venusian hypertermites, leaving a gigantic hole in the ground. What to do
about the hole? Well, you can go down into it if you wish. But that's pretty
boring. Besides, you won't be able to get out again unless youh ave your
stool. (That's really the only use I found for the thing, by the way.) On the
other hand, Infocom doesn't just allow things like unexplained tree-dyings to
occur, do they? I never tried this, but I gather the purpose ofthe hole is to
permit another solution to the flytrap puzzle. I suspect this is included in
case you didn't/couldn't decipher the meaningless matrix of letters. (Those
Infocom guys know that not everyone is as smaht as they are!) Anyway, one of
the places you will teleport to at some point in the game is Cleveland.
There, you will find a trellis and a sack. If you are following a sequence of
events which gets you to Cleveland before you get to the Jungle and the Venus
Flytrap, here's what you can do. Presumably, you will be astute enoughto take
the sack and the trellis when you find them. The sack is full of leaves
(69,105 to be exact). Now, when you get to the Jungle put the trellis over
the hole left by the tree, and dump the leaves on the trellis. The flytrap
will sidle up to you across the trellis and fall into the hole. End of
problem. Since you have just hissed the flytrap into oblivion, you may
completely disregard the foregoing, ignore the hole and proceed east yet
again. This takes you to a Clearing. In the Clearing is a can of black stain.
Get the can and go northeast. You come to the front door of a plasticoid
house. It is closed and locked. What's more, you don't have a key. Go east to
the Rocky Clifftop. There isn't much here except, oh, a black circle and a
neat view. Off to the northwest you can see a Vizicomm Booth. Go northwest.
(The black circle can keep.) Enter the Vizicomm Booth, which is out of order.
Turn or pull the coin return knob and you'll here a clank. Open the return
box, and a coin drops to the ground. Get the coin and examine it. The coin
reads "Ten Marsmids." Fine. Now go back to the Rocky Clifftop (just type
"Exit"). From the clifftop, go north. You find yourself at the back door of
the plasticoid house. And you are NOT alone! An extraordinary number of
door-to-door salesmen are camped out here. One ofthem approaches you and
offers to barter one of his machines for something of equal value you might
be carrying. Offer the flashlight to the salesman. In exchange, you receive
what is described as a TEE-Remover Machine. Before the salesman can explain,
he turns on your flashlight and a giant Venusian Megamoth swoops down and
carries him off. The other salesmen scatter to the four winds. Hm -- a
Tee-Remover? Open the machine. Put the jar (of untangling cream) into the
machine. Close the door and turn on the machine. The machine whirs and
grinds. When it stops, open the door and get the jar. It now contains
unAngling cream. (Oh, brother!) Now knock on the back door.
LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS - Part 3
You are welcomed by a Mad Scientist (mit a Cherman accent, uff courze). He
welcomes you because you look like a grand candidate for his next mad
experiment! Go downstairs. Oops! You're in the Mad Scientist's laboratory. It
contains a cage. The cage contains two gorillas. The cage also contains a
rubber hose. Quick! Throw the candy (the hunk of brown food, remember?) into
the cage. Just in time! The mad scientist straps you and Trent/Tiffany down
to a couple of slabs. Then he throws an ominous looking switch. Suddenly, you
find yourself inside the cage. You also find yourself inside a gorilla skin!
Odd, you can also see your own body still strapped to the first slab. Gee!
The female/male gorilla in here with you looks better all the time. Kiss the
gorilla. This seems to satisfy the Mad Scientist that his experiment is
working chustfein, zo he bounds up the stairs, leaving you locked in the cage
with the gorilla. Your companion, who has been transported to the "body" of a
Venus Flytrap, is of no help. He remains strapped to the second slab. Let's
see, wasn't there a rubber hose on that list? Yep. Get the hose. Now eat the
candy. You feel a sugar rush. (For those of you not quite so smaht as those
Infocom fellers, a sugar rush means you feel super strong.) Good. Open the
cage.Wow! You really are super strong! You part the bars easily and can exit
the cage. Do so. Drop the hose outside the cage. Then, go to the second slab
and unstrap Trent/Tiffany (watch out for those "tentacles!"). Next, unstrap
your body. While your sugar rush is ebbing, pull the switch. Good! You're
back in your own body again. Get off the slab and retrieve the rubber hose
and put it in your basket. If you were paying attention when you entered the
laboratory (it's always a good idea to read the descriptions, no?), you
noticed there was a black circle at the foot of the stairs. This might be a
good time to stand on it. Zap! You're back inside the Vizicomm Booth. Exit
the booth and you're back on the clifftop. Now you can stand on the black
circle you saw the first time you came here. Doing so takes you to the Royal
Docks. Moored to the end of this dock is a royal barge. To the south is a
ruined castle. Go south. You are in the throne room of King Mitre. It seems
that we've been wrong all along about the legend of King Midas; he, who we
always thought could turn things into gold by his mere touch. It seems his
real name was King Mitre, and,in fact, everything he touched turned into
forty-five degree angles. Everything, including his own daughter. You notice
one angle in particular - prominent because of its long golden tresses and
flowing white gown. Unlimber your handy-dandy jar of unAngling cream. Rub the
unAngling cream on the daughter. Slowly, the angle turns into King Mitre's
beautiful daughter, Princess Theta. Mitre is so happy to see her again that
he rewards you with a truly useful gift, a perfect eighty-two degree angle.
(He explains he only brushed against it.) Take the angle. Hey! Your batting
average is going up! You now have two objects out of eight. Put the angle in
the basket with the hose. By the way, at this point your inventory may be a
bit top-heavy. I mean, what good is a jar of unAngling cream, now that it's
empty? And who needs a TEE-Remover Machine after it's done its work? That
stool isn't much good, either. Unless you're terribly possessive about such
things, go ahead, drop them, along with the matchbook, the scrap of paper and
any other flotsam youstill have. On the other hand, no sense being a
litterbug. Why not pick a central spot where you can drop them unobtrusively?
(I chose the basement below my cell.) Nothing like being tidy, eh? And you
never know when something might come in handy. On the other hand, if you're a
slob, there's no penalty in the game for dropping things wherever you please,
once you've used them. Just make sure not to drop anything prematurely. After
you've got your angle tucked away, leave good King Mitre. As you depart, you
realize the dummy has inadvertently touched the princess again, but you can't
do anything about that. It's time to visit the Martian desert. Go south.
LEATHER GODDESSES OF PHOBOS - Part 4
You've come to a Ruin, one of many you'll encounter. Go south again. You're
still in the desert. Go east to Another Ruin. Sitting on a rock is a truly
repulsive frog. I mean, this one is the repulsive frog of all repulsives in
the frog kingdom. It is also wearing a little gold crown. Go ahead, kiss the
frog. Yuck! The frog is so ugly you just cannot bring yourself to kiss it.
Yet,instinctively you realize that somehow, some way you've just got to screw
up your courage, pucker up and plant one on its repulsive kisser. For now,
though, go west, then, north to Yet Another Ruin. This one is unimpressive
except for the fact that it does seem to contain a black circle. No, don't
stand on it (unless you have a hankering to visit the basement below your
cell). Retrace your steps by going south to the frog, then, east to the
Dessert. Very sharp-eyed gamesters will have noted the word "dessert" above.
"Ha!" they will proclaim, "I knew the Sysop editors around here didn't know
how to spell! "Wrongo, smahties. The word IS Dessert. In fact, you're looking
at a fifty foot Martian Cream Pie. It is a mirage, of course. So are the
trails which appear to lead to the northwest and southwest from here. (You
were advised that all is not always as it seems in an Infocom production.
Those trails are not mirages after all.) Go southeast. You've come to an
Oasis. There is a little bunny rabbit hippity-hopping around the premises.
Get him. (What you do with him, I confess, I haven't the foggiest. But I got
him anyway, so you might as well, too. Maybe he makes good rabbit stew.) On
the other hand, you also see a black circle here, and I DO know what to do
about that. That's odd. The black circle mysteriously turns white! Get out
your can and pour the black stain on the circle. That's better. Now it's
black again. Stand on the circle. Whoosh! You're in Cleveland. (Remember,
Cleveland?) Go south. Well, now, here's a lawn that somebody cares about.
Actually, it's a muddy patch of crabgrass, but there's a rake and a sack full
of leaves. Forget everything except the sack. Take it and dump out the leaves
Now that the sack is empty, you've got a much better receptacle than your
wicker basket. Put all your goodies except the blanket in the sack. Leave the
blanket in the basket. It looks cute in there. Now go north, then, northeast.
You're standing inside a Teensy-Weensy House. Go upstairs and You find
yourself in a Bedroom containing an open window, an unmade bed and a sheet
lying half onthe floor. Get the sheet. Tear the sheet into strips and tie the
strips together (which forms a rope),then tie the rope to the bed. Throw the
loose end of the rope out the window.Your faithful friend, Trent/Tiffany,
will now shinny down the sheet. (If you try, you soon learn you're too heavy
and fall to your untimely demise. This is not terribly important except that
it ends the game.) Once on the street, your pal will just have time to
unscrew a handy headlight before being unceremoniously struck by a truck and,
evidently, killed. Before you can burst into tears over your loss, your
companion reappears in a cloud of falling plaster as the ceiling above you
collapses! He offers an explanation of his startling reincarnation, but I
won't bore you with it here. After all, I presume you can read it for
yourself if you're playing the game. Anyway, take the headlight he/she is
carrying and put it in the sack. That's three out of eight! Time to leave
picturesque Cleveland, so go downstairs and go east into the garden behind
the Wee House. There's a trellis against the house and a fresh piece of sod.
Lifting the sod reveals another black circle! (If you need to betold about
the trellis, you're not paying attention.) Stand on the circle. You're
teleported to the basement below your cell. You see, you could have come here
from the black circle in that ruin I told you about. But if you did that you
might have missed Cleveland, and...oh, forget it. Right about here is where I
dropped all my superfluous, used-up junk. You see, I didn't have a walkthru
like you've got, and I didn't know whether I might not need my superfluous,
used-up junk again. For some reason which only a tentacledalien could divine,
the basement seemed like a logical spot. Of course, being tidy never hurt
anyone, but I think I've covered this ground already.